The Curse of the White Van

Every photographer knows it: the Curse of the White Van. Well, every photographer doing cityscapes and architecture, that is; in portrait or macro photography, it’s much less of an issue.

Sick

So what exactly does it entail, this Curse of the White Van? It’s the phenomenon that a lot of potentially beautiful photos are spoiled because a white van is parked in a place where you would rather not have it. Sick man!

Annoying

Of course there are also vans in other colors. Not even mentioning motor vehicles in general. Or traffic signs, advertisements, trash cans, traffic lights, lampposts, signposts, parking meters. And let’s not talk about all those fellow humans who move rather undecoratively through the scene. But nothing attracts so much attention in such an annoying way as a white van.

Working class heroes

Okay, I also understand that those vans belong to working class heroes who are carrying out urgent repairs at a short distance from their ugly vehicle. And I also understand that such a van is very useful for transporting the necessary tools and materials. But still … can’t they make these motherfuckers transparent?

Worthless

Wonderful, such an evening photo of the Theatre Square during the film festival. The beautifully illuminated Doelen concert hall, the Tiger logo, the reflections on the square, even the roof of the railway station is visible. But the image is completely worthless because there is a white van on it. One that even brought its older brother!

Photoshop

Occasionally, Photoshop can offer a solution. With content aware fill, small vans can sometimes be magically removed. But usually shopping is futile. Even with a black belt in Photoshop you can’t take the van from this picturesque little street in Groede, the Netherlands (almost Belgium)

Strategy

Are there other strategies conceivable against the Curse? Yes, sometimes it adds value to the picture, such a white monster. But only if it moves. And unfortunately they usually stand still.

Culprit

If nothing else helps, try to make the van the main subject of the photo. As in the case of the culprit that marred the view of the church in Franeker. If you can’t beat them, join them.

Nostalgia

Well, maybe it is just a matter of time. Probably in a hundred years we’ll be touched when we see such a characteristic early twentieth-century van on an old digital photograph. Just like the, mostly black, trucks on black-and-white photos from the 1930’s also look pretty nostalgic. But I’m not sure if I want to wait for a hundred years.